Weekly News from Fyksland
Coverage and translation provided by Info-Iksä
English Edition 200103

Sunday, 1 July, 2001
Kaansä illuminates in pink
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - Over 1 million spectators flooded the city centre Sunday evening to take in the largest gay pride parade in Europe. Space aliens outfits and ethnic costumes were among hundreds of drag queens and go-go dancers that illustrated the theme of this year's celebration: "Pride is Universal". Prince Alæsi headed the festivities as this year's parade marshall commemorating the first ever official acknowledgement for the parade from the Lævogøn Palace. Dubbed "THE Mardi Gras of Europe", 200,000 revellers followed the parade and gyrated to tribal rhythms down Kildønvog Boulevard as partyers converged at the giant open-air street party at Kildønvog Square. The party ended with spectacular fireworks featuring the rainbow colours accentuating the glowing pink sky at the stroke of midnight, which also concluded the week-long GayFest celebrations. (to read more...)
A show fits for a princess
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - The first ever royal attendance at the 16th annual GayFest parade was realised after much debates and anticipation since the adoption of same-sex marriages by the State Lutheran Church in January 2001. HRH Princess Kristina attended the ribbon cutting ceremony before lesbians bikers set off the parade. "It's about time we all stop being close-minded, and start acknowledging the diversity of people and members within our families," said Princess Kristina to reporters. Among the parade's dignitary contigent were Prince Alæsi and Mayor Giirtingäär. (to read more...)

Monday, 2 July, 2001
Author Klaude Simon dead at 83
LILASPOTJA, Øtali-Þorja (AP) - Nobel Literary Prize winner Klaude Simon has died at his home at age 83, his publisher said Monday. The literary giant has been a Fyksian icon for decades and had produced some of the most prolific novels for modern Fyksian literature. His most well known works The Monologue of Dania Kravtsä and The Version Yellow give insightful view into the Jewish-Fyksian community. (to read more...)

Tuesday, 3 July, 2001
GE-Honeywell merger blocked
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - The European Union blocked General Electric Co.'s US$ 41-billion purchase of Honeywell International Inc. on Tuesday, the first time a proposed merger between two U.S. companies has been blocked solely by European regulators. The veto of one of the world's largest industrial mergers by the EU's 20-member executive commission was widely expected after the American companies failed to allay European fears the deal would create an unfairly dominant position in markets for jetliner engines and aircraft electronics. Over 1,500 jobs in Fyksland will be affected by the merger if the amended deal goes through. (to read more...)

Wednesday, 4 July, 2001
Mustá: Dág must quit
PORTI IKSTIS, Viske (PF) - The clinging-by-its-fingertips leadership of Válstak Dág took another boot stump when one of the Parti Isfjordika's strongest voices called for his resignation. Meesi Mustá, the party's longest-serving member, announced she could no longer stand by Dág as leader as she quit the party. (to read more...)
Naked Americans arrested
NIEKOPENHAAG, Jølantä (AP) - A joy ride for Independence Day celebration took a wild twist for five American citizens as they were caught riding naked in their vehicle. The two-males-and-three-females party of U.S. ex-pats were pulled over by highway patrol just outside Niekopenhaag city centre shortly after 22:15. On top of indecent exposure in the public, the driver was further charged with drunk driving and driving without a seat belt. The passengers were also charged with riding without a seat belt and possession of Ecstasy and small amount of other leisure drugs. (to read more...)

Thursday, 5 July, 2001
It's a done deal
NIEKOPENHAAG, Jølantä (AP) - Shipping tycoon Kelse Odønvaum of TransAtlantika Inc. announced the sale of his multi-million empire to Titania i Titania Ltd.. The billionaire is reported to be in good health while he claims he plans to pursuit his life in space instead. The sudden announcement puts over 2 million krons of shares at stake. (to read more...)

Friday, 6 July, 2001
Demand for workers still down
KAANSÄ, (PV) - The demand for workers continued to fall in June, extending a trend which began in September, a Bureau of Census and Statistics survey indicates. The agency's help-wanted index, which measures the number of help-wanted ads in 12 newspapers and publications in four metropolitan areas across the country, fell 1.2 per cent in June after slipping 2.1 per cent in May. The unemployment rate was 6.5 per cent in June. (to read more...)

Saturday, 7 July, 2001
Wet day for Scandinavians
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - Scandinavia Day kicked off with a rainy start as the flag of the Nordic Council was raised over Scandinavia Hall under torrential downpour early morning. Vendors, artists and musicians alike resumed their festive activities at Kildønvog Square as the rain came to a trickling stop by noon. This 32-year-old annual festival has been a popular event among children and tourists alike to celebrate and experience Scandinavian-Viking cultures. (to read more...)

`Dui Lantä havete endeligte spreijkeut, torlaate i plislaate, pa einte individtøl et'tideligaal, i øt'sokaal uit peel kompætila inslikinte mæt so planak satana.'
-Vaijskäna Alþigkvøna Jana Stotson op Euro manavstemninke kömenteer (7a Sijþsku, 1999)
`Dui Lantá hafete endeligte spreykeut, torlute i plislute, pa einte indifidtýl et'tideligul, i ýt'sokul uit pál kompútila inslikinte mút so planak satana.'
-Fayskána Alðigkvýna Jana Stotson op Euro manavstemninke kómýntar (7a Syðsku, 1999)
"The nation has finally spoken, loud and clear, to distinguish herself as an individual, and to save herself from completely swallowed by such demonic plan."
-Fyksland Prime Minister Jana Stotson on the Euro Referendum (7th September, 1999)

Søgso NØJ an Euro! Sýgso NÝJ an Euro! Say NO to Euro!