Weekly News from Fyksland
Coverage and translation provided by Info-Iksä
English Edition 200105

Sunday, 15 July, 2001
The Hesenvog did it again
LAAKTUMAA, Øtali-Þorja (AP) - Baroness Ledeta Hesenvoge and her teammates claimed 1st place for this year's Royal Regatta Classics. Her yacht Dei Sopvauma sailed into Laaktumaa Harbour at 15:06 as the first to finished the week-long tour around Fyksland coast, while De Lödtivog of Prince Hviliem trailed closely behind and finished second. (to read more...)

Monday, 16 July, 2001
Stotson: Euro to blame
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - Prime Minister Jana Stotson took another stab at the EU as she blamed the sliding kron on the weak euro and the glooming economy throughout the Union. "I refuse to pay 2 euros to get an un-curved banana while being forced to wear a micro nylon hairnet like they do in the continent," told Stotson to the reporters. Stotson has been leading one of the most anti-european governments since she was elected in 1994. (to read more...)
Ravaging bush fires
NUGJØLUT, Gaamla, (AP) - The heatwave over the weekend has sparked over 20 bush fires across the interior. Fire fighters and the Royal Armed Guards are still out on full force combatting wild fires caused by record-breaking high temperature and dry weather. Over 50 hectares of farmlands and forests have been destroyed and 13 homes have been evacuated around the Menenseker Region. (to read more...)

Tuesday, 17 July, 2001
Sydney in one stop
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - The first ever draft air services agreement was reached today between SvenesÆr and the Office of Tourism of Australia. Starting January 2002, the national carrier will be allowed to expand its current Kaansä-Tokyo service to Sydney, Australia, replacing the current Australian route operated by partner airlines. The first phase will be three B747 weekly services between Kaansä and Sydney, with plans to increase to daily services by 2004. Scandinavian Airlines System, the airline's largest competitor, currently provides no direct passenger service to Australia. (to read more...)

Wednesday, 18 July, 2001
EU probes Lasanja's case
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - Following the EU Directives to combat money laundering, commisioners and detectives arrived in Kaansä today to discuss Lasanja's case. Investigators joined team from the EU and the Financial Action Task Force (FATF) to probe into what is believed to be the largest and most organised European-based group of criminal activities to date. "We have reasons to believe some of Lasanja's activities were against the budgets of the EU," EU Financial Services Commisioner Mario Monti explains. (to read more...)

Thursday, 19 July, 2001
Fyksland not ready
KAANSÄ, (AP) - The country's largest internet service provider Iksär.Kom's network security may not be ready for a wide scale attack. "Even a country like Canada has better security technology. I don't think we're prepared for any large scale attack we've seen happening before with other servers," claims network security consultant George Richard. There has been no incident of systematic attack on Fyksian servers for the past year. (to read more...)

Friday, 20 July, 2001
G8 protesters arrested
GENOA, Italy (Reuters) - Three Fyksian citizens were arrested along with 5 other protesters in Genoa early in the morning. Italian police has arrested the activists after they were reportedly burning Canadian and U.S. flags and throwing tomatoes at an American-owned chain fast food restaurant. Large scale riots erupted around the city's historic centre are expected to become increasingly violent as the G8 Summit begins today. Canada has threatened not to ratify the Kyoto Protocol while the U.S. backed out completely. (to read more...)

Saturday, 21 July, 2001
Human cargo detained
NIEKOPENHAAG, Jølantä (VKK) - The Royal Fyksian Marine Force rescued 23 illegal immigrants off a Liberia registered cargo ship spotted 2 nautical miles southeast of Niekopenhaag. Travelling in an air-tight un-lit cargo from Istanbul, 8 men, 9 women and 5 children of Kurdish origin suffered from dehydration, starvation and unsanitary environment. The refugees were sent to local refugee detention centre for medical treatments until authorities can determine their refugee status. (to read more...)

`Dui Lantä havete endeligte spreijkeut, torlaate i plislaate, pa einte individtøl et'tideligaal, i øt'sokaal uit peel kompætila inslikinte mæt so planak satana.'
-Vaijskäna Alþigkvøna Jana Stotson op Euro manavstemninke kömenteer (7a Sijþsku, 1999)
`Dui Lantá hafete endeligte spreykeut, torlute i plislute, pa einte indifidtýl et'tideligul, i ýt'sokul uit pál kompútila inslikinte mút so planak satana.'
-Fayskána Alðigkvýna Jana Stotson op Euro manavstemninke kómýntar (7a Syðsku, 1999)
"The nation has finally spoken, loud and clear, to distinguish herself as an individual, and to save herself from completely swallowed by such demonic plan."
-Fyksland Prime Minister Jana Stotson on the Euro Referendum (7th September, 1999)

Søgso NØJ an Euro! Sýgso NÝJ an Euro! Say NO to Euro!