Weekly News from Fyksland
Coverage and translation provided by Info-Iksä
English Edition 200107

Sunday, 29 July, 2001
Lasanja widow wanted
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - Federal Investigation Unit (SMU) has issued a nation-wide search warrant for Roma Lasanja, the widow of the late Councillor Lasanja who was murdered earlier this month. Lasanja had disappeared in the middle of police investigation. Fyksland's Federal Police had also seeked aid from authorities from other EU countries to put Lasanja to arrest. (to read more...)

Monday, 30 July, 2001
Refugees deportation decided
NIEKOPENHAAG, Jølantä (VKK) - Immigration and Refugee Board has reached a decision to deport 23 asylum seekers who were attempted to be smuggled into the country. The Kurdish refugees arrived last Saturday on a Liberian registered cargo ship from Turkey. Investigators had determined that the refugees has been travelling through a "safe-third-country" when the ship was ported in Limerick, Ireland, before reaching Niekopenhaag. (to read more...)
IT sector still down
NIEKOPENHAAG, Jølantä (JP) - Numerous IT and telecommunication companies in the Niekopenhaag area are expected to slash a total of 10,000 jobs by the end of August. Job demand is at an all time low in 10 years since the booming of the IT sector that made Niekopenhaag the technology powerhouse of Fyksland in the early 1990s. (to read more...)

Tuesday, 31 July, 2001
Government warns Code Red virus
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - Government officials in Fyksland and other European countries are warning that a version of Code Red, a virus that appeared in mid-July, could slow down the Internet worldwide with another massive attack starting this evening. The virus is expected to reactivate at midnight GMT, 23:00 Fyksland Time, and is expected to cripple business and personal web serving computer use if safety precautions have not been taken. (to read more...)

Wednesday, 1 August, 2001
Europe mostly higher
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - Most European markets rose today as renewed investor confidence in chip and electronics stocks pepped up some recently neglected shares. The Vastoki Index inched up 0.4 percent to close at 5,442.78 with high-tech shares featuring heavily among the gainers in the market. (to read more...)

Thursday, 2 August, 2001
Nazis collaborator charged
NUGJØLUT, Gaamla (VKK) - Eighty-six year old Kaal Hoeke of Pierligen has been charged with crimes commited during the Second World War. Charged with high treason and crime against humanity, Hoeke could face death penalty if convicted. Defense lawyer had made no public comment so far concerning the offenses that include revealing secret military information to the Nazis and endangerment of the Royal Family and war refugees. Hoeke will stand trail in front of Supreme Court judges next week. (to read more...)

Friday, 3 August, 2001
Axe falls on SvenesÆr
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - SvenesÆr has announced cutting 2,000 positions by October due to lost in revenue. Cancelling and code-sharing certain flight routes are expected to keep SvenesÆr in the air competing with other major airlines. The Kaansä-Rome-Cairo-Delhi route is among serveral others that will be cancelled by the end of the year. The new Hong Kong to Sydney route extension plan will be postponed indefinitely. (to read more...)
Lasanja arrested
BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) - German border police has arrested Roma Lasanja at the German-Polish border about 100km east of Berlin. German police had identified Lasanja travelling in disguise with a fraudulent passport. "The unusually large breasts and hairless forearms caught my attention," said the officer who believed he made the arrest of a "male" suspect. Investigators confirmed that Lasanja has once been a man. (to read more...)

Saturday, 4 August, 2001
Duke Kresel-Poenheim to wed Japanese model
NUGJØLUT, Gaamla (AP) - The Gaamhä Castle announced today the engagement of Duke Pete Kresel-Poenheim and Miss Nyomi Wasabikuoka of Japan. The heir of the Duchy of Gaamla had yet to announce the wedding date. Miss Wasabikuoka will likely to become the first person of Asian descent to marry into the Fyksian aristocracy. (to read more...)

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`Dui Lantä havete endeligte spreijkeut, torlaate i plislaate, pa einte individtøl et'tideligaal, i øt'sokaal uit peel kompætila inslikinte mæt so planak satana.'
-Vaijskäna Alþigkvøna Jana Stotson op Euro manavstemninke kömenteer (7a Sijþsku, 1999)
`Dui Lantá hafete endeligte spreykeut, torlute i plislute, pa einte indifidtýl et'tideligul, i ýt'sokul uit pál kompútila inslikinte mút so planak satana.'
-Fayskána Alðigkvýna Jana Stotson op Euro manavstemninke kómýntar (7a Syðsku, 1999)
"The nation has finally spoken, loud and clear, to distinguish herself as an individual, and to save herself from completely swallowed by such demonic plan."
-Fyksland Prime Minister Jana Stotson on the Euro Referendum (7th September, 1999)

Søgso NØJ an Euro! Sýgso NÝJ an Euro! Say NO to Euro!