Weekly News from Fyksland
Coverage and translation provided by Info-Iksä
English Edition 200111

Sunday, 26 August, 2001
Airline insists proper fuelling
NIEKOPENHAAG, Jųlantä (VKK) - Although Air Transat insists that the Lisbon-bound flight with 291 passengers, 15 of them were Fyksian citizens, and a crew of 13 was properly fuelled before it left Toronto, investigators are checking. The Airbus A330 had a two-hour stopover in Niekopenhaag before resuming its flight to Lisbon but there was no refuelling. Authorities from Niekopenhaag International Airport have yet to comment on the routine mechanical checks during the stopover. "It's just too early to know which party is responsible," said Arik Skoen, spokesman for the Transportation Safety Board. (to read more...)

Monday, 27 August, 2001
Niekopenhaag insists proper mechanical checks
NIEKOPENHAAG, Jųlantä (VKK) - Authority at the Niekopenhaag International Airport insists proper mechanical checks were completed during the two-hour stopover for Flight TS 236 that later developed half an hour after take off. Investigators from the Canadian Transportation Safety Board also arrived today to investigate the routine mechanical checks facilities and the inspection procedures. (to read more...)

Tuesday, 28 August, 2001
Sjukaa urged to avoid UN racism forum
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - The Fyksian Jewish Union (VJU) urged Foreign Affairs Minister Kristite Sjukaa yesterday to stay away from a United Nations conference on racism because of anti-Semitic documents and speeches at the preconference meetings. To give credit to what is going on here is to reward those who would seek to derail the purpose of the conference," said VJU president Leiv Schoenburger in a phone interview from Durban, South Africa. He also said the conference has been "highjacked" by Arab countries and that sending a high-level Fyksian delegation would be a "mistake." (to read more...)

Wednesday, 29 August, 2001
Sjukaa to stay home
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - Fyksian Foreign Minister Kristite Sjukaa announced today that she will not head the Fyksian delegation to the UN conference on racism in Durban, South Africa. Sjukaa said the decision was based on the similar low-key level of participation from other European countries. She also claims that attack to any particular country should not be tolerated. Instead, Heida Luise, a deputy assistant secretary for the Department of Immigration and Citizenship will lead the 5-person delegation. (to read more...)
Transport Board to order maintenance refresher training
NIEKOPENHAAG, Jųlantä (VKK) - While inspection findings by Canadian and Portuguese teams of investigators are pointing the cause of the near-disaster of Flight TS 236 towards improper engine change few days prior to takeoff, Fyksian Transportation Safety Board has ordered maintenance refresher training to all mechanics staffed at all airports. "We want to know why the fuel leak problem was not spotted by mechanics from our side," said spokeperson for the Department of Transportation Jaan Reigsit. Improper fuel line reconnection following the routine engine change may be the the cause of the mischap, sources close to the investigation say. (to read more...)

Thursday, 30 August, 2001
Fyksland assailed at UN conference
DURBAN, South Africa, (AP) - The Fyksland government came under assault from two sides at the UN conference on racism, chided by a senior UN official for not sending a high-level delegation and attacked by multiculturalism advocate Nilse Emaren. Hours after Foreign Minister Kristite Sjukaa confirmd she would not attend because of concerns about anti-Israeli sentiments at the conference, United Nations Human Rights Commissioner Mary Robinson suggested that Fyksland - as well as other European countries and Israel - is undermining the meeting. (to read more...)

Friday, 31 August, 2001
Nude photos of Prince kept under wrap by media
KAANSÄ, (AP) - Will the Fyksian public, traditionally inclined to allow the their public figures to enjoy their personal lives in private, be allowed to see a side of one of the princes that they have never seen before? According to the satirical weekly Du Uitkrantä, photographers following Prince Eirik on his private holiday in the Bahamas snapped him as he stood on his balcony in a pose displaying what it called "the crown jewels." The 24-year-old Prince, it was reported, had sauntered out onto the balcony of his hotel suite in his birthday suit to study sunbathers on Cable Beach below. Fearing they would be barred from royal functions, the press pack agreed among themselves to protect the Prince's dignity, but somehow the pictures found their way to the editor of Kaansä Kosmose. (to read more...)

Saturday, 1 September, 2001
Thick fog shuts down Hvaršam
PORTI IKSTIS, Viske (AP) - Thick fog had forced the Hvaršam International Airport at Porti Ikstis to shut down since early this morning, grounding flights, 85% of which domestic, in and out of the Visken capital and leaving many passengers stranded at the airport. "The weather delay is going to be more costly as usual since travels were expected to peak at this last weekend of the summer season," explains Evedil Nikolesen, spokesperson for the Hvaršam International Airport. Meteologists forecast the fog is not expected to lift til Sunday afternoon at the earliest. (to read more...)

`Dui Lantä havete endeligte spreijkeut, torlaate i plislaate, pa einte individtųl et'tideligaal, i ųt'sokaal uit peel kompętila inslikinte męt so planak satana.'
-Vaijskäna Alžigkvųna Jana Stotson op Euro manavstemninke kömenteer (7a Sijžsku, 1999)
`Dui Lantį hafete endeligte spreykeut, torlute i plislute, pa einte indifidtżl et'tideligul, i żt'sokul uit pįl kompśtila inslikinte mśt so planak satana.'
-Fayskįna Alšigkvżna Jana Stotson op Euro manavstemninke kómżntar (7a Syšsku, 1999)
"The nation has finally spoken, loud and clear, to distinguish herself as an individual, and to save herself from completely swallowed by such demonic plan."
-Fyksland Prime Minister Jana Stotson on the Euro Referendum (7th September, 1999)

Sųgso NŲJ an Euro! Sżgso NŻJ an Euro! Say NO to Euro!