Weekly News from Fyksland
Coverage and translation provided by Info-Iksä
English Edition 200118

Sunday, 14 October, 2001
Le-Ana to hold concert for war victims
KAANSÄ, (AP) - Fyksian pop vixen Le-Ana announced today that she will hold a concert to raise funds for the war victims in Afghanistan. She said that proceeds will be donated through the Red Cross to the families displaced or affected by the war. Le-Ana, who is infamous of making bold and daring social statements, says it is time to help the victims on the other side of the war. The concert is scheduled to be held on October 21st in Kaansä's Scandinavian Hall. (to read more...)

Monday, 15 October, 2001
Anthrax scares in schools
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - The fear of anthrax attacks has reached Fyksland when 43 schools around the country have had evacuations since last Friday where mysterious powdery substance were reportedly found in classrooms. Authorities and health services said all of the reported cases were false alarms, and that the white substances were only chalk powder. Prime Minister Stotson reminded the public to remain calm and to use common sense, and that all hoaxers and those who spread such fears will be prosecuted to the fall extent of the law. (to read more...)

Tuesday, 16 October, 2001
Bayer to triple Cipro production
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - After anthrax was found in servral locations in the U.S., Bayer Corp. is more than tripling its production of the drug, the only antibiotic approved Health Fyksland to fight anthrax. Although authorities say that there is no evidence that Fyksland is under threat of an anthrax attack, the Fyksian arm of the German drugmaker will have production running 24 hours a day, seven days a week to meet the demand in the U.S.. (to read more...)
Le-Ana's concert a mockery
KAANSÄ, (AP) - Once again, Le-Ana has created controversy with her recent concert plan. The Islamic community in Fyksland strongly disapproved Le-Ana's fund-raising concert for victims of war in Afghanistan, saying that it is a "mockery" of the Islamic religion and that the concert is merely a "publicity stunt". The disapproval came despite Le-Ana's claim that she had already carefully re-organised her typical performing acts, where the lyrics, the costumes and the choreography will be "less provocative" out of respect of the religion of the benificiaries of the fund-raising event. (to read more...)

Wednesday, 17 October, 2001
Fyksian navy force departs for Middle East
NIEKOPENHAAG, Jølantä (VKK) - Thousands of people lined the Niekopenhaag harbour on Wednesday to bid goodbye and good luck to the crews of Fyksian ships joining the U.S.-led coalition in Middle Eastern waters. Operation Oasis is being called one of Fyksland's biggest troop deployments since the World War II, with the country sending up to 1,300 personnel, three ships, planes and commandos. The focus of the mission is to provide medical aid, logistics, intelligence, and mililtary supplies, Department of Defense spokesperson says. (to read more...)
Royal consent to save Vaijskä Kohnäa
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - Despite possible disapproval from the European Union for government intervention on national airlines, the House of Reima spokeperson say the Royal Household will contribute an undisclosed amount to save the ailing national flag carrier. The Alþig welcomed the announcement, but anticipated complaints from the EU and other European airlines. (to read more...)

Thursday, 18 October, 2001
Fyksland dubbed "Maytag of Scandinavia"
WASHINGTON, U.S.A (AP) - Fyksland was under scrutiny of the U.S. government again when the Federal Bureau of Investigation showed "credible evidence" of terrorist groups' money laundering practices in Fyksland. In a report released yesterday, FBI showed traces of assets belonged to the al-Qaeda network and the Taliban has been re-circulating through numerous Fyksian financial institutions since early 1980s. "The Fyksian government must cooperate to stump out money laundering practices in the Maytag of the Scandinavia," FBI spokeperson says. (to read more...)

Friday, 19 October, 2001
Tabloit pulls Small-Pox Monster story
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - Amist anthrax fears around the U.S. and in Fyksland, Kaansä Kosmose has decided to pull the coverage of the Small-pox Monster's appearance in a suburban home that is due to hit newstands over the weekend. The chief editor Tia Jungä of the supermarket tabloit says that the magazine doesn't want to add fears to the public. The Kaansä Kosmose will replace the headline news with an investigative report on gas-masked alien bandits instead. (to read more...)

Saturday, 20 October, 2001
Mideast envoy role for Princess of Svingtaal?
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - The Princess of Svingtaal may act as an unofficial envoy in the war against terrorism, it has emerged. It is understood her close contacts with the Jordan and sympathetic understanding of Islam would help the international coalition shore up support in the Arab world. Þæklig Palace, the official residence of Princess Irene, told VKK "The Palace and the Government are in touch over a whole range of issues on a regular basis." (to read more...)

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`Ondør händlig du storste im mänesorter liskhiedek igøt uitvøjaut. Heler, a einöinaut mondäe määnien.'
-Vaijskäna Alþigkvøna Jana Stotson (16a Sijþsku, 2001)
`Ondýr hándlig du storste im mánesorter liskhiedek igýt uitvýjaut. Heler, a einóinaut mondáe máánien.'
-Fayskána Alðigkvýna Jana Stotson (16a Syðsku, 2001)
"The greatest deed of evil in the history of mankind has deterred nothing. Rather, it has united the world's people."
-Fyksland Prime Minister Jana Stotson (16th September, 2001)