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Weekly News from Fyksland Vaijskä Radio

Sunday, 13 January, 2002
Selling Big Mac with Kimo
KAANSÄ (VKK) - To many Fyksian children, he's famous for his cuddly baby blue appearance and big knobby white nose whose job is to find clues for Detective Hindelstein. But perhaps now Kimo's biggest task yet is to find back lost customers for McDonald's. Fast-food giant McDonald's has hired the hit children's program character in the hope that he can tempt Fyksian to swap their bagels for "Big Mac." On the street, Kaansians don't seem impressed. But McDonald's is trying hard to appeal to European consumers. (to read more...)

Monday, 14 January, 2002
Royal house celebrates 455th anniversary
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - Despite recent separatist group terror threats, the nation and the House of Reinma mark their 445th anniversary today with fireworks, parades and speeches. The royal family, who was heavily guarded, greeted the public on the balcony of Lækvogøn Palace where King Jaakot IV delivered his address to the nation. Other members of the royal house were also around the country greeting the public and making speeches. A minute of silence was observed at 16:30 for last Monday's Visken blast victims. With the conclusion of the 1547 revolution that broke out on January 14, the monarchy was restored when Duke Olav of Seltje was elected King of Fyksland, who became the ancestor of today's royal family. (to read more...)

Tuesday, 15 January, 2002
Milersen lost EU presidency to Irishman
STRASBOURG, France (Reuters) - Irish Liberal Pat Cox has been elected president of the European Parliament after a closely fought battle. The Irish independent MEP who leads the Liberal Democrat grouping becomes the most powerful figure in the parliament after beating off the challenge from Reis Milersen of Fyksland's Liberal Party. Cox, who had been the favourite, won an absolute majority in the third round of voting with 298 votes. Milersen got only 33. (to read more...)

Wednesday, 16 January, 2002
Fyksland to resume Argentine beef import
BRUSSELS, Belgium (AP) - The European Union has agreed to resume beef imports from Argentina on February 1, almost a year after they were banned because of an outbreak of foot-and-mouth disease. A panel of EU experts voted late Tuesday to authorize the import of fresh beef from all parts of Argentina except the provinces of La Pampa and Santiago del Estero, the EU said in a statement. Imports of fresh meat were suspended March 13 after outbreaks of the disease, which led Argentina to start a cattle vaccination program. (to read more...)

Thursday, 17 January, 2002
EU lifts ban on UK meat
BRUSSELS, Belgium (Reuters) - The EU has lifted the remaining restrictions on British pig and meat exports imposed during the foot-and-mouth crisis, officials have said. The move follows the UK government's announcement earlier this week that the last English county to have been affected by the virus, Northumberland, was foot-and-mouth free. The European Union had placed the restrictions on the UK after foot-and-mouth broke out 12 months ago. Fyksian officials welcome the recent liftings of meat import bans, saying that would considerably lower the current meat prices in Fyksland. (to read more...)

Friday, 18 January 2002
Detainee not labelled as prisoner
KAANSÄ (VKK) - U.S. authorities have told Fyksian Foreign Affairs that they insist on not labelling detainee Omar Khalil as a prisoner. Fyksland's U.S. embassy has confirmed, however, that Fyksian national Omar Khalil is being treated humanely while being held in jail in the U.S. Khalil has been detained in the U.S. for over three months on immigration charges while he was denied access to consular contacts. (to read more...)

Saturday, 19 January, 2002
Fyksland has tons of fridges that need recycling
KAANSÄ (AP) - Fyksland is turning into an old refrigerator dump because it lacks facilities to recycle them in line with new European rules, industry experts said on Friday. Since November alone, the old cooling appliances could form a line of metal stretching from Kaansä to Laaktumaa. A 1998 European Union directive came into force in January 2002 ordering the removal of ozone-depleting substances in old fridges before scrapping, in order to cut harmful gas emissions. (to read more...)

`Ondør händlig du storste im mänesorter liskhiedek igøt uitvøjaut. Heler, a einöinaut mondäe määnien.'
-Vaijskäna Alþigkvøna Jana Stotson (16a Sijþsku, 2001)
`Ondýr hándlig du storste im mánesorter liskhiedek igýt uitvýjaut. Heler, a einóinaut mondáe máánien.'
-Fayskána Alðigkvýna Jana Stotson (16a Syðsku, 2001)
"The greatest deed of evil in the history of mankind has deterred nothing. Rather, it has united the world's people."
-Fyksland Prime Minister Jana Stotson (16th September, 2001)