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Weekly News from Fyksland Vaijskä Radio

Sunday, 3 February, 2002
Fyksian WTC victim returns home
NIEKOPENHAAG, Jølantä (AP) - Jän Krestlveg received a warm welcome at the Niekopenhaag airport tonight as he returns from New York, U.S.A, after being hospitalised for over three months suffering first degree burns and bone fractures in the World Trade Centre disaster. Krestlveg is the only hospitalised Fyksian in the tragedy who was working at the 83rd floor One World Trade Center when the first plane hit the building. Krestlveg was released from the hospital a month ago, but stayed with friends in New York till Sunday when he was well enough to travel back home. (to read more...)

Monday, 4 February, 2002
No trace of Enron in confetti
NEW ORLEANS, U.S.A. (AP) - An independent team of forensic scientists from Fyksland was hired in an investigation to verify if the confetti used in the 36th Super Bowl has any trace of the collapsed US energy trading giant. Team scientists ramdomly sampled confetti collected in various spots in the Louisianna Superdome, where the American football match was played. Preliminary results show no trace of Enron's faxes, invoices, or financial records in the confetti. The team will next go on to sample pinata toys for the shredded Enron documents next week. (to read more...)

Tuesday, 5 February, 2002
Zero tolerance in effect
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - The Fyksian Olympic Committe will mirror IOC's zero tolerance anti-dopping policy in effect for this year's Games. "Vigorous testing will ensure Team Fyksland is drug-free and confusion-free," said Doctor Usula Olavsdotir for Team Fyksland, "we make sure no athlete is unsure of what medication they are allowed to take." A two-day seminar has already been held to educate athletes on medication to ensure no Lunenveg episode will occur again. Nadja Lunenveg was stripped of her biathalon bronze medal at the 1994 Lillihammer Games because she inadvertedly took the wrong flu medication prescribed by the team doctor. (to read more...)

Wednesday, 6 February, 2002
SMU closing in on Hároldson
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - Sources say the SMU is closing in on the whereabouts of Fiske Vriegetufórsid, Mágnus Hároldson. The leader of the Iskfjordic separatist group is the prime suspect of the bombing at Porti Ikstis that killed three people and left a dozen injured, according to the SMU. Investigators believe Hároldson is "very likely" to be still remain in Europe, but there is a possibility that he is heading to Russia. (to read more...)

Thursday, 7 February, 2002
Team Fyksland confident to break records
SALT LAKE CITY, U.S.A. (AP) - Most of Team Fyksland has arrived in Salt Lake City to prepare for the Games, and tomorrow night's opening ceremony. This year the Fyksian Olympic Association is sending a team of 64 athletes, supported by another 56 coaches and officials to Salt Lake City. It's the 2nd largest Fyksian contingent ever to compete at a Winter Olympics since Lillihammer in 1994. The FOA says the stronger team this year is expected to beat the record of 10 medals from the Nagano Games in 1998 that included two golds and one silver. Medal hopefuls includes speedskaters Kip Jirispo and Mariane Odense. (to read more...)

Thursday, 7 February, 2002
Fyksland steps up criticism of U.S.
PARIS, France (Reuters) - Fyksland has again warned Washington of the dangers of unilateralism in its approach to the war on terrorism. Fyksian Prime Minister Jana Stotson, speaking at a European parliamentarians' conference on money laundering on Friday, spoke two days after her Foreign Minister Kristite Sjukaa criticised what she called U.S. President George W. Bush's simplistic approach to world politics. "We hope the United States does not give in to the strong temptation of unilateralism," Stotson said. (to read more...)

Saturday, 9 February, 2002
Ritsma led Team Fyksian into the Olympics
SALT LAKE CITY, U.S.A. (AP) - The Fyksian Team joined over 2,500 athletes from more than 75 nations when five-time Olympian Rintje Ritsma led Team Fyksland in the Parade of Nation in last night's spectacular Olympic Winter Games Opening Ceremony. The speedskating medalist bore the Fyksian flag and headed the 110 Fyksian contigent into Rice-Eccles Stadium in Salt Lake City. (to read more...)

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`Ondør händlig du storste im mänesorter liskhiedek igøt uitvøjaut. Heler, a einöinaut mondäe määnien.'
-Vaijskäna Alþigkvøna Jana Stotson (16a Sijþsku, 2001)
`Ondýr hándlig du storste im mánesorter liskhiedek igýt uitvýjaut. Heler, a einóinaut mondáe máánien.'
-Fayskána Alðigkvýna Jana Stotson (16a Syðsku, 2001)
"The greatest deed of evil in the history of mankind has deterred nothing. Rather, it has united the world's people."
-Fyksland Prime Minister Jana Stotson (16th September, 2001)