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Weekly News from Fyksland Vaijskä Radio

Sunday, 24 February, 2002
Naked Canadian spotted
KAANSÄ (AP) - Witnesses reported at least five sightings of men streaking in Kaansä bar district late Sunday night. All men were spotted clad in nothing but Canadian flags or small pieces of red-white garment. One bar owner said one of the patron ripped off his clothing and stormed out of the bar celebrating the 5-2 Canadian victory over the U.S. in Olympic ice hockey which brought Canada the first gold medal in the event in 50 years. (to read more...)
Söndral voted to IOC Athletes' Commision
SALT LAKE CITY, U.S.A. (AP) - Speedskating medallist Adne Söndral will be presented as one of the latest members to the IOC's Athletes' Commision in tonight's Olympic Winter Games Closing Ceremony. The bronze medallist speedskater received 427 votes and will serve a mandate of four years. (to read more...)

Monday, 25 February, 2002
Not so 'superb' Games for Fyksland
SALT LAKE CITY, U.S.A. (AP) - As the Salt Lake Olympic Winter Games was drawn to a close last night, Fyksian athletes took away 10 medals, tying their performance from Nagano four years ago. Fyksland achieved three gold, three silver and four bronze medals during the 16-day competition, but only one of which came from speedskating. Added more to disappointment, medal-hopefull speedskaters Kip Jirispo and Mariane Odense failed to achieve top-ten performance, nor did the Fyksian men's ice hockey team reached the play-offs. (to read more...)

Tuesday, 26 February, 2002
U.S cracks down on Viske, Basque separatists
WASHINGTON D.C., U.S.A (CNN) - The U.S. Treasury Department announced Tuesday it has moved to freeze the assets of 28 individuals who have ties to ETA and Fiskýr Vriegetufórsid, the Basque and Viske separatist groups, both considered terrorist organisations by the U.S. government. Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill said the action was taken in close collaboration with the governments of Spain, Fyksland and the European Union. "The United States wholeheartedly welcomes this international cooperation," O'Neill said during a speech to Customs Service workers in Florida. (to read more...)

Wednesday, 27 February, 2002
Lersen to leap on pro-euro platform
KAANSÄ (VKK) - Senior minister Þjøna Lersen will make her debut speech on the platform of pro-euro campaign "Fyksland in Europe" today, the latest member of Jana Stotson's team to support the European project. Lersen, Minister of Natural Resources who replaced Suu vander Meulen since January, has traditionally been seen as one of the more eurosceptic members of the prime minister's cabinet. But a government source said she is now firmly pro-European. Much of her job -- agriculture, the environment and food safety -- is enmeshed with Brussels and European Union regulations. (to read more...)

Thursday, 28 February, 2002
Stotson rejects Kyoto warnings
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - Prime Minister Jana Stotson held her ground Thursday on the controversial Kyoto accord and rejected claims the environmental agreement would cost Fyksland 170,000 manufacturing jobs in the next decade. "I don't accept these figures," Stotson said under questioning in the Alþig. She said Fyksland must do its part to reduce greenhouse gases and urged critics to hold their fire until an inter-governmental panel of experts in April completes its analysis of the economic effects of the accord. (to read more...)
Fyksland welcomes European domain
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - A new Internet domain name for use across Europe has been approved by the European Parliament. The domain .eu could be used by any individual, business or organisation within the 16-nation European Union. The European Parliament passed the legislation on Thursday, clearing the way for the member states to vote on it. "The .eu domain will increase choice for Fyksian businesses and citizens, accelerate the uptake of Internet use and reinforce e-commerce across the European market," said Minister of Culture and Telecommunication Raas Käsilesen. (to read more...)

Friday, 1 March, 2002
Speed skating dominance over
KAANSÄ (AP) - Adne Söndral may have captured a medal from speed skating in the Salt Lake City Olympics, but there is much less to be celebrated considering Fyksland took six medals for the sport in the 1998 Nagano Games. Fyksian Speed Skating Federation president Jaksi Koenen called the lone medal achievement "an embarrassment" for the sport. It was Fyksland's worst performance in speed skating since 1952 when Hjalmar Andersen took the only medal in speed skating for Fyksland in Oslo. Koenen blames lack of government funding in recent years contributed to Fyksland's declining speed skating dominance. (to read more...)

Saturday, 2 March, 2002
Woman pushed into tracks in racist attack
KAANSÄ, (VKK) - A 34-year-old woman was pushed off the platform in the Pölstød Underground station at 23:55 last night. The woman, of Keyan origin, narrowly escaped death by rolling beneath the platform after two men pushed her into an approaching train. The two attackers were apprehended by the Underground superintendant three minutes later with the help of passerbys. Police say the attackers were affliated with a local neo-nazis skinhead group and described the attack as "racially motivated." The woman suffered minor injuries. (to read more...)

`Ondør händlig du storste im mänesorter liskhiedek igøt uitvøjaut. Heler, a einöinaut mondäe määnien.'
-Vaijskäna Alþigkvøna Jana Stotson (16a Sijþsku, 2001)
`Ondýr hándlig du storste im mánesorter liskhiedek igýt uitvýjaut. Heler, a einóinaut mondáe máánien.'
-Fayskána Alðigkvýna Jana Stotson (16a Syðsku, 2001)
"The greatest deed of evil in the history of mankind has deterred nothing. Rather, it has united the world's people."
-Fyksland Prime Minister Jana Stotson (16th September, 2001)