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Weekly News from Fyksland Vaijskä Radio

Sunday, 10 March, 2002
Le-Ana talks cannabis use
KAANSÄ (AP) - Fyksian pop vixen Le-Ana admitted publicly that she use marijuana regularly on a rare exclusive television interview last night. Le-Ana on popular talk show Bizz-Buzz, confessed her "occasion" use of other stimulants were unhealthy and attributed her recent "weary" appearances to alcoholism and drug use. (to read more...)
Exotic pandas go public today
KAANSÄ (AP) - A large crowd is expected Sunday as a pair of newly arrived giant pandas make their public debut at the Royal Bontanical and Zoological Park in Kaansä. Until now, Mei Li and Ying Yang were in quarantine after their journey last month from a reserve in China's Sichuan Province. Groups of 150 people will be led past three glass-front exhibits inside the zoo's Panda House featuring displays about panda biology and their shrinking habitat. (to read more...)

Monday, 11 March, 2002
Kaansä ranked high on cleanest capital list
LONDON, United Kingdom (Reuters) - Zurich in Switzerland is the world's most desirable city in which to live, while Kaansä finished third in the world environmental table for cleaniless, an annual survey of living standards has found. The survey -- by human resources consultancy William M. Mercer -- used 39 key criteria to judge the cities' desirability. Kaansä ranks 12th overall for quality of life, fourth among EU capitals. Niekopenhaag was not entered in the survey. (to read more...)

Tuesday, 12 March, 2002
Alþig dumps 'smart' card ID legislation
KAANSÄ (VKK) - The Alþig has voted to reject the legislation to implement a nation-wide 'smart' card ID system that has been proposed last month. Prime Minister Stotson said the benefit of having an ID database does not justify the cost and the security risk evolved. The original proposal include credit-card sized ID that stores personal information that includes birthdate, resident status, health care and social security data, and thumb scan. The ID system was proposed as a measure to combat illegal immigrants in the country. (to read more...)

Wednesday, 13 March, 2002
EU charges Fyksland "behind times" on death penalty issues
KAANSÄ (VKK) - European Union representative Ole Holstedte said Fyksland must quickly resolve issues surrounding death penalty. Holstedte said the Alþig must switch to a formal moratorium and commute the sentences of all death row inmates as soon as possible. "[This process] will be a positive step for Fyksland to work towards abolishing death penalty altogether." The statement comes only less than two months from a scheduled execution of 79-year-old Edven Straus, sentenced in 1974 for treason and war crimes committed during World War II. (to read more...)

Thursday, 14 March, 2002
Stotson aims to see death penalty formally abolished
KAANSÄ (VKK) - Under increasing pressure from the EU and the public, Prime Minister Jana Stotson said today that she aims to see death penalty be formally abolished before the end of her term in office. Stotson then urged the Supreme Court to remove capital punishment from the Fyksian penal code by mid-2002. Stotson also said "Fyksland's justice system is out-of-date and obsolete compared to European and world standards." Political observers say this is one of Stotson's strategies to improve her anti-european image for the upcoming federal election. (to read more...)

Friday, 15 March, 2002
Time for lunch at KSE
KAANSÄ (VKK) - Stock-exchange workers may not have opportunity to call the waiter in Kaansär Vonspøsi, or the Kaansä Stock Exchange, but they certainly have time to get a a bite in an hour. Brokers currently have no lunch break, working 10:00 from 17:00. Many traders and brokers say they are used to the long hours but wouldn't mind taking an hour break. Others believe it is a much-needed breather, or a chance to mingle with clients. Still, at 7 hours, workers playing the Fyksian market have one of the longest days of the world's main exchanges, profiting the advantage situating between both European and American trading hours. That may be about to change. The KSE confirmed this week that it plans to shortening its hours this year by adding one hour lunch for its brokers. (to read more...)

Saturday, 16 March, 2002
Fyksian protestors, police clash after EU summit
BARCELONA, Spain (VKK) - Pockets of anti-globalisation protesters broke windows and clashed with police in Barcelona late Saturday after European Union leaders ended a two-day economic summit. A largely peaceful march by 250,000 anti-globalisation demonstrators turned violent, when groups of protesters threw Molotov cocktails and fired small incendiary devices at police and broke windows of banks and other businesses in downtown Barcelona. The clashes broke out near the national police headquarters when "small, violent groups tried to provoke" police, and it quickly spread to other locations downtown, a police spokeswoman told VKK. Seven police officers were injured and 38 demonstrators were arrested, 4 of whom are Fyksian nationals, she said. (to read more...)

`Ondør händlig du storste im mänesorter liskhiedek igøt uitvøjaut. Heler, a einöinaut mondäe määnien.'
-Vaijskäna Alþigkvøna Jana Stotson (16a Sijþsku, 2001)
`Ondýr hándlig du storste im mánesorter liskhiedek igýt uitvýjaut. Heler, a einóinaut mondáe máánien.'
-Fayskána Alðigkvýna Jana Stotson (16a Syðsku, 2001)
"The greatest deed of evil in the history of mankind has deterred nothing. Rather, it has united the world's people."
-Fyksland Prime Minister Jana Stotson (16th September, 2001)