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Weekly News from Fyksland Vaijskä Radio

Sunday, 7 April, 2002
Mideast violence divides Fyksland
KAANSÄ (VKK) - An estimated 90,000 people have marched in Kaansä to denounce a wave of recent attacks on Jewish schools, cemeteries and synagogues in Fyksland. An estimated 800 police and scores of anti-riot vehicles were deployed as marchers headed toward the Kildønvog Square. Waving Israeli flags and draped in the blue and white colours of the national banner, marchers gathered at the Kildønvog Square in Fyksian and Hebrew and carrying signs that read "Yesterday New York, today Jerusalem, tomorrow Kaansä." (to read more...)

Monday, 8 April, 2002
Aging summit hears global warning
MADRID, Spain (VKK) - The proportion of the world's population over the age of 60 is set to triple by 2050, a United Nations international assembly on aging has been told. It means that 20 percent of the planet's population -- 1-in-5 -- will be officially elderly, raising certain social issues and problems for healthcare and pensions. In Fyksland, where 24 percent of Fyksians are over 60, the rapidly aging population has already shown strain on the nation's healthcare and welfare system since mid-1990, said Health and Social Affairs Minister Pite Kohnä. (to read more...)
Royal Grandma to attend British royal funeral
KAANSÄ (AP) - Against the advice of her doctors, Queen Lauraine the Royal Grandmother, will join foreign dignitaries and royalty from around the world for the funeral of Britain's Queen Mother. Buckingham Palace has confirmed that 25 foreign royals are expected to attend the funeral service in Westminster Abbey, London, on Tuesday. Queen Lauraine, aged 88, was a personal friend of Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother, and she will attend the funeral accompanied by Fyksian Ambassador to Britain Larna Peen-Cornwall. (to read more...)

Tuesday, 9 April, 2002
Stotson campaigns for pro-European vote
KAANSÄ (VKK) - In stark contrast to her campaign strategies four, or even eight years ago, Prime Minister Jana Stotson is now aiming to get votes from her traditional pro-European opponents. Stotson is spending this week touring the northern and western duchies of Viske and Øtali-Þorja, traditional Republican and pro-European strongholds. On the second day of her tour, Stotson spoke in a local secondary school in a Visken community, who stressed combatting separatist terrorism is the focus of her platform. (to read more...)

Wednesday, 10 April, 2002
Agency faces hair-raising wrath of Stotson
KAANSÄ (VKK) - Prime Minister Jana Stotson must wait a month before a court rules on whether she dyes her hair. Stotson, who faces re-election in August, believes the allegations harm her political credibility, not least because the conservative opposition has used the affair to cast doubt on her trustworthiness. Fyksland's AP news agency attracted Stotson's wrath after quoting an image consultant as saying the 46-year-old prime minister would be more convincing if she did not dye her greying hair. "It is indeed unusual for a woman her age not to have grey hair." AP's story prompted Stotson's lawyer Piel Kietsom to issue a denial and demand a withdrawal. Stotson wants the court to order the agency to be fined if it repeats the allegations. (to read more...)

Thursday, 11 April, 2002
Embassy marks terror attacks' 482,400th minute anniversary
KAANSÄ (VKK) - The staff of the United State Embassy in Kaansä commemorated the September 11 terror attacks in a moment of silence today. At 13:46, a moment of silence was observed at the 482,400th minute milestone of the September 11 terror attacks in New York and Washington. "It's important that we remember every minute that passed since that horrible moment was casted upon the people of America," Ambassador Jack Lemple said in a speech. (to read more...)

Friday, 12 April, 2002
Fyksland under fire over immigration law
KAANSÄ (VKK) - The Fyksian government has been criticised by the United Nations refugee agency, the UNHCR, over proposals to further restrict the number of foreigners entering the country. The UNHCR confirmed on Friday it was particularly concerned with policies limiting family reunification, the definition of who is entitled to protection in Fyksland, welfare benefits and returning people to countries declared to be "safe." The UNHCR said in a letter to the Fyksian government: "Specific aspects of the bill and commentary appear inconsistent with international refugee and human rights law." Spokeperson for the Department of Immigation and Citizenship, Maarkis Hinske, said the government would not change its proposals, which are expected to be passed in the parliament next month. (to read more...)

Saturday, 13 April, 2002
Patronymic name a thing of the past
NUGJØLUT, Gaamhä (AP) - The eldest person, and also the last in Fyksland to have a patronymic name has died, the Royal Bureau of Census and Statistics has released. Mrs. Elena Kristiandotir-Hanse of St. Gilda, Neihtsä, whose parents were registered as Kristian Simonson and Pia Mätiasdotir, has died Friday morning at the age of 103. Sigudson was born in 1889 and passed away less than five months after her 103th birthday. The Federal Registry introduced the Act of Naming and Address which became effective in 1890, requiring all Fyksians to use an inheritable family name -- a system previously reserved for royalty and nobility. (to read more...)

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`Ondør händlig du storste im mänesorter liskhiedek igøt uitvøjaut. Heler, a einöinaut mondäe määnien.'
-Vaijskäna Alþigkvøna Jana Stotson (16a Sijþsku, 2001)
`Ondýr hándlig du storste im mánesorter liskhiedek igýt uitvýjaut. Heler, a einóinaut mondáe máánien.'
-Fayskána Alðigkvýna Jana Stotson (16a Syðsku, 2001)
"The greatest deed of evil in the history of mankind has deterred nothing. Rather, it has united the world's people."
-Fyksland Prime Minister Jana Stotson (16th September, 2001)