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Weekly News from Fyksland Vaijskä Radio

Sunday, 28 April, 2002
Women more likely to spot UFO: study
KAANSÄ (AP) - Call her delirious, but study has shown women are 50% more likely to spot visitors from out of space than men. A study conducted by University of Kaansä shows Fyksian women reported 150% as much UFO sightings as men between 1960 and 2000. "Women are just more observant," commented Kristina Mara-Skur on the results of her research. (to read more...)

Monday, 29 April, 2002
Fatal toxic accident kills three
NIEKOPENHAAG, Jølantä (VKK) - Three workers were killed today at the former KromeMIX Plant at Lake Eselpro while conducting remediational activities. The workers, whose names have not been released until their families have been notified, were employees of Envirosa -- a firm contracted to retreive PCB-contaminated soil and sediments from the bottom of the lake. The men were pronunced dead after firemen recovered the bodies nearly three hours after the first worker allegedly fell into a 120-gallon tank of PCE, or perchloroethylene. An inspector for the Occupational Health and Safety Commission arrived to the site to conduct an investigation. (to read more...)

Tuesday, 30 April, 2002
Heroes turn victims
NIEKOPENHAAG, Jølantä (VKK) - Preliminary findings from the investigation of yesterday's fatal accident at the former KromeMix Plant reveal that the second and the third workers entered a tank of PCE in attempt to save the first victim, but were both overcame by the toxic fume. The spokeperson of Environsa, employer of the victims, insisted all three received proper training prior to the accident. (to read more...)

Wednesday, 24 April, 2002
Global warming to threaten Fyksland: research confirms
KAANSÄ (VKK) - It may not be news, but scientists have shown global warming will create "substantial" devastation to Fyksland. A joint Canadian-Fyksian study predicts over 80 percent of the Fyksian landmass will be submerged in water in 100 years if the trends were to continue. "It is obviously a major concern for a country such as Fyksland," said Canadian environmental scientist Christian Richard. (to read more...)
Princess Juliana's cancer diagnosis confirmed
KAANSÄ (AP) - Princess Juliana, Duchess of Linvog has been diagnosed with lung cancer, Lækvogøn Palace has confirmed. Lækvogøn Palace spokesperson related the news Wednesday morning from Princess Juliana who is currently under hospital observation in Lausanne, Switzerland. The 56-year-old royal is a younger sister of late Crown Prince Olav of Svingtaal - the father of King Jaakot IV. Princess Juliana has fallen ill last weekend whilst spending her vacation in her holiday home near Zurich. (to read more...)

Thursday, 1 May, 2002
Anti-EU theme of May Day protest
KAANSÄ (VKK) - Over 2000 demonstrators gathered at Kildønvog Square Thursday afternoon chanting anti-EU slogans and burning EU flags have taken over the annual post-May Day parade gathering. Peaceful protestors demanded deregulation of industries and lifting strigent EU restriction on employment. According to one labour union spokesperson, the EU has caused a steady rise of unemployment in Fyksland. (to read more...)

Friday, 2 May, 2002
Ice Patrol's life of solitude prevents a Titanic
KAANSÄ (AP) - As Tristan Krein stares out the window of the Hercules C-130, searching for ice, the ocean seems to stretch endlessly into the hazy horizon. "Sometimes, we're begging for things to look at," says Krein, 35. But sometimes, the members of the Royal Coast Guard Ice Patrol team look down and they see peaks of glistening white, floating in the frigid currents of the North Atlantic. They record icebergs' locations, size and shape, and they know that every observation they make is crucial. After all, these are the waters that claimed the RMS Titanic. (to read more...)

Saturday, 3 May, 2002
Ancient burial unearthed
ÆLSÄ, Linutaa (AP) - Archaeologists have stumbled the sixth pre-historic burial site to be discovered in Fyksland. The 3,000-year-old mass burial site is the oldest of its kind to be discovered, according to the Department of Culture spokesperson Herek Sjaspro. Sjaspro also said the tomb appears to have survived the legendary Mount Kjotsä eruption and at least two millenia of human civilisation when it was discovered late Friday afternoon on a cliff in the remote Irinafjor in northern Linutaa. (to read more...)

`Ondør händlig du storste im mänesorter liskhiedek igøt uitvøjaut. Heler, a einöinaut mondär määnien.'
-Vaijskäna Alþigkvøna Jana Stotson (16a Sijþsku, 2001)
`Ondýr hándlig du storste im mánesorter liskhiedek igýt uitvýjaut. Heler, a einóinaut mondár máánien.'
-Fayskána Alðigkvýna Jana Stotson (16a Syðsku, 2001)
"The greatest deed of evil in the history of mankind has deterred nothing. Rather, it has united the world's people."
-Fyksland Prime Minister Jana Stotson (16th September, 2001)