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Weekly News from Fyksland Vaijskä Radio

Sunday, 19 May, 2002
Al-Qaeda sleeper cells scared off by surveillance
KAANSÄ (VKK) - Police in Kaansä uncovered a "sleeper cell" of Osama bin Laden's al-Qaeda network but allowed the would-be terrorists to flee Fyksland because they had not broken the law here, said Evan Renes, the Metropolitan Kaansä Chief of Police. Renes -- who blurted out the startling news to reporters before he advised the Prime Minister on the matter -- said he was informed by law-enforcement officials at a special briefing in Kaansä late Saturday that members of the terror network had been lying in wait in Kaansä and had been under police surveillance. (to read more...)

Monday, 20 May, 2002
Stotson defends Straus death penalty
KAANSÄ (VKK) - Returning to the Alþig for the first time after recovering from her car accident injuries, Prime Minister Jana Stotson faces a monumental task to clear up the Straus death penalty controversy. Stotson has been criticised for her government's lack of action to prevent the execution of war criminal Edven Straus. Stotson defends her position by saying the death sentence was consistent with the current constitution and the government has no power to reprieve the execution. (to read more...)

Tuesday, 21 May, 2002
Condom deal sacked
KAANSÄ (VKK) - The latest deal between American fashion company Abercrombie & Fitch and Hvagti -- the Fyksian manufacturer for Durex condoms -- has been shelved. Hvagti has rejected the 30-million-kron contract to manufacture kid-size condoms for Abercrombie & Fitch's Back-to-school Collection to be released this Fall. At present, Abercrombie & Fitch products -- including clothing, jewellery, perfume and cologne -- are available only through their website or from their stores located exclusively in the U.S. Abercrombie & Fitch has been the target of criticism on their controversial advertising and provocative products. "It's not worth the risk manufacturing a product when there will never be a domestic market for it," Hvagti spokeperson says. (to read more...)

Wednesday, 22 May, 2002
Police chief resigns over media blurt
KAANSÄ (VKK) - Metropolitan Kaansä Chief of Police Evan Renes has resigned after his blunt media release of intelligence information on Sunday. Renes has been heavily criticised for announcing al-Qaeda sleeper cells -- who were under police surveillance -- have left the country. Liberal leader Riet Skoetli also questioned the value of displacing the group and then calling it a success, especially if it was part of the intelligence strategy. (to read more...)

Thursday, 23 May, 2002
SMU issues attack warning
KAANSÄ (VKK) - A credible threat of an impending attack against synagogues or other gathering places for the Jewish community in Fyksland has prompted police to issue an unprecedented public security alert. The SMU received an intelligence report -- from a source that officials would not identify -- claiming an attack of an unspecified nature was being planned against Fykland's Jewish community during June. (to read more...)

Friday, 24 May, 2002
Fyksian team to head East Timor oil exploration
SYDNEY, Australia (AP) - A team of geologists and engineers from Fyksland will head the consulting team for an oil exploitation project near East Timor. The team from Koehson-Pregen has won the bid to lead the geological and engineering consultation for the Australian-led oil exploitation off the coast of East Timor. Under a treaty to be signed by the East Timorese and Australian governments following East Timor's independence ceremony on Sunday, the new nation will reap the lion's share of the oil revenue, dividing the income 90-10 in its favor. The economical survival for this newest, but one of the poorest nation on earth will rest upon the promises oil and gas will bring, with large reserves under Timor Sea. (to read more...)

Saturday, 25 May, 2002
Fyksian fear dead in Taiwan crash
KAANSÄ (VKK) - One Fyksian national is fear dead after a China Airlines plane crashed into the Taiwan Strait. The Boeing 747-200 crashed after taking off from Chiang Kai-shek International Airport in Taipei. Dozens of bodies have been recovered from the doomed flight en route to Hong Kong, authorities said. China Airlines official Wang Cheng-yu said most of the 225 passengers and crew on board were Taiwanese but there were two from Singapore, two from Australia, 14 from Hong Kong, Macao or China and one from Fyksland. (to read more...)
Eurovision joy for Marija
TALLINN, Estonia (AP) - Marija Naum has won the Eurovision Song Contest on a night of colour, glitz and kitsch that was decided on the final vote. The blonde artist, who also wrote her song "I Wanna," burst into tears as the victory was confirmed in Tallinn, Estonia, in the 47th song contest watched by a TV audience of about 200 million. (to read more...)

`Ondør händlig du ståste im mänesåter liskhiedek igøt uitvøjaut. Heler, a einöinaut mondär määnien.'
-Vaijskäna Alþigkvøna Jana Stotson (16a Sijþsku, 2001)
`Ondýr hándlig du stíste im mánesíter liskhiedek igýt uitvýjaut. Heler, a einóinaut mondár máánien.'
-Fayskána Alðigkvýna Jana Stotson (16a Syðsku, 2001)
"The greatest deed of evil in the history of mankind has deterred nothing. Rather, it has united the world's people."
-Fyksland Prime Minister Jana Stotson (16th September, 2001)