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Weekly News from Fyksland

Coverage and translation provided by Vaijskä Radio

Sunday, 1 September, 2002

Royal Grandmother receives warm welcome home

KAANSÄ, (AP) - The Royal Grandmother Queen Lauraine has returned home after spending two weeks in a Hong Kong hospital after collapsing during an official visit. The 88-year-old royal arrived in Kaansä late Sunday afternoon finding no less than a hundred greeters and well-wishers carrying ballons and giant stuffed animals. Queen Lauraine will celebrated her 89th birthday this month. Full story...

Monday, 2 September, 2002

Teachers: No deals

KAANSÄ, (VKK) - Over 1,500 public schools in the Kaansä metropolitan area are shut down today due to the teachers strike. The District's teachers union and the public school board failed to strike a deal by Sunday midnite. "We almost had [the deal] five minutes to midnight, but someone changed her mind," said a public school board representative who declined to give his name. "By the time we've finalised everything, it was ten minutes too late," he added. Full story...

Mixed emotion over extended vacation

KAANSÄ, (AP) - Over 1.1 million primary and secondary students who attend public schools in the Greater Kaansä metropolitan area get an extra day of summer vacation due to the teachers strike. But not everyone is happy about the extra day off when parents are scrambling to find babysitters or are taking the day off. "I can't stand another day with that babysitter, but I have no choice," said one dissatisfied parent. Full story...

Tuesday, 3 September, 2002

Late start for capital area students

KAANSÄ, (VKK) - Students attending public school in the Kaansä metropolitan area are returning to school after one extra day of summer vacation. The teachers union and the district's public school board stroke deal on Monday giving the teachers an average of 3 percent raise and lighter work load. The school board is also planning to hire more staff. Full story...

Wednesday, 4 September, 2002

EU urges return of Iraq inspectors

JOHNANNESBURG, South Africa (VKK) - The European Union and the United States have agreed to insist on the return of weapons inspectors to Iraq. However, Fyksland's Prime Minister Jana Stotson continue to maintain her stand against a possible military strike. Stotson indicated Fyksland's emphasis is on a return of U.N. weapons inspectors to Iraq. "There is no doubt in my mind that Saddam Hussein is a problem. He has capability of producing weapons of mass destruction and the willingness to use them. We know that he has breached several U.N. declarations," said Stotson. Full story...

Thursday, 5 September, 2002

Kaansä seeks more control over pot

KAANSÄ (VKK) - An Upper House committee recommanded Thursday that marijuana-use should be under stricter government control. At a news conference, the committee annouced its final report recommending the sale of marijuana be restricted to government licensed retailers and the legal age to be raised. Currently, the sale and the use of cannabis are restricted in licensed establishments known as the "coffee houses". The Committe wants the legal age to be raised to 18 and that the retailing of cannabis be subjected to the same level of restriction as alcohol and tobacco. Full story...

Friday, 6 September, 2002

H&M to pulled pro-hate clothing off shelves

NIEKOPENHAAG, Jølantä (AP) - Retail giant H&M has called on its 14 stores in Fyksland to remove shorts and baseball caps marked "eight eight" or "88" -- code among neo-Nazis for "Heil Hitler" because H is the eighth letter of the alphabet. The retail chain is also considering pulling clothings bearing the mark "69" because it is also a code for "Heil Keisentaum" according to the Fyksian alphabet. Härod Keisentaum was a Fyksian Prime Minister who brought about the Nazis invasion of Fyksland and is now synonymous to the neo-nazist culture in Fyksland. Full story...

Saturday, 7 September, 2002

Next-of-kin turns millionaire

LAAKTUMAA, Øtali-Þorja (AP) - A 42-year-old woman has become a multi-millionaire overnight thanks to her next-of-kin in Nigeria. The Laaktumaa-area woman, who refuses to reveal her identity, recieved over $10 million US (98 million krons) after promising to transfer $25 million US (245 million krons) out of an account from the Diamond Bank of Nigeria, Lagos Branch. The bank promised the Fyksian woman a 40% share for withdrawing the asset of a deceased man. "All I had to do was to declare being the next-of-kin of someone I don't know," said the woman over a telephone interview. "It was so easily done over e-mail," she added. Full story...


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