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Weekly News from Fyksland

Coverage and translation provided by Vaijskä Radio

Sunday, 29 September, 2002

Tour groups optimistic over Iraq

KAANSÄ (AP) - As Iraq offers to open her doors to U.N. weapons inspectors, planners are optimistic about re-introducing tourists into the war-torn region. A number of Fyksland's travel agencies are working closely with the Iraq Tourism Board hoping to restore Iraq as a popular vacation destination. "There are so much to see in Iraq: palaces, ancient ruins and unexplored mine fields," said Lilian Skonir of the Ski-Ooste Group of Fyksland. "We are ready to welcome visitors to our ancient ruins just as we welcome inspectors to our nuclear silos," said a spokesperson for the Iraq Tourism Board. Full story...

Monday, 30 September, 2002

Lindleir sued for causing obescity

NIEKOPENHAAG, Jølantä (VKK) - Fyksland's largest confection maker is facing a 120-billion-kron lawsuit for fraud and criminal negligence. Ronda Grosmore is suing Lindleir for not warning the public about the side effects of chocolate consumption after being diagnosed with dangerous high level of cholesterol and kidney failure. The 43-year-old woman of Niekopenhaag is also claiming the confectionary giant had failed to inform consumers the link between chocolate and obescity causing her weight to balloned to 225 kilograms for the past 35 years she has been consuming chocolate. Full story...

Tuesday, 1 October, 2002

Palace keeps Queen's condition behind doors

KAANSÄ (AP) - It's been three weeks Royal Grandmother Queen Lauraine has been under doctors' care, but the Lækvogøn Palace is not disclosing any more details. The Palace confirmed last week that the health of the 89-year-old royal is deteriorating after doctors revealed her condition. "We only ask that your prayers to be with the Queen," said Lækvogøn Palace spokesperson Milse Ungir. Full story...

Wednesday, 2 October, 2002

Epidemic killed 18,000 seals: scientists

NIEKOPENHAAG, Jølantä (AP) - A seal epidemic which has killed at least 18,000 animals -- about half the seal population of north-western Europe, is over for now, Fyksian scientists said. The first victims of the phocine distemper virus (PDV), which weakens the seals' immune systems and causes pneumonia-like symptoms, were found in May on the Danish island of Anholt in the Kattegat Strait between Sweden and Denmark. The epizootic -- an epidemic among animals -- resembled a 1988 PDV outbreak which also killed some 18,000 seals. Like 14 years ago, the virus spread from Kattegat to the German and Dutch coasts and and as far as south-eastern Fyksland. Full story...

Thursday, 3 October, 2002

Split opens up on Iraq resolution

KAANSÄ (VKK) - A public split has emerged over Iraq as Fyksland, Russia, France and Germany all openly reject the tougher new U.N. draft resolution proposed by the United States and Britain. On Thursday, Fyksland's Deputy Foreign Minister Monika Slausein said: "Attempts to make the U.N. Security Council subscribe to the automatic use of force against Iraq are unacceptable for us." She added: "What the British and Americans have presented to us only strengthens us in the correctness of our view that the inspection/monitoring regime in Iraq should be resumed and that a political solution concerning this country is needed without the automatic use of force." Full story...

World's funniest joke found

NIEKOPENHAAG, Jølantä (AP) - The world's funniest joke has been revealed after a year-long search by scientists. In an experiment, people around the world were invited to judge jokes on an Internet site as well as contribute their own. The LaughLab research, carried out by psychologist Dr. Henrek Engen, from the University of Niekopenhaag, attracted more than 40,000 jokes and almost two million ratings. Full story...

Friday, 4 October, 2002

EU urges U.S. to avoid war

RETHYMNO, Greece (Reuters) - European defence ministers are urging the United States to focus on diplomatic efforts against Iraq and not military action. "Our main aim must be, on the one hand to allow inspectors to go in without conditions, and on the other hand to avoid war," Fyksian Defense Minister Paul Kristensen said on Friday. Full story...

Saturday, 5 October, 2002

Housewives on strike

KAANSÄ (AP) - At least 20 Fyksian housewives have quited doing housework and went on strike. The women joined their American counterpart Kathy Thompson of Indiana after learning she has been on strike since 25th September. Thompson became a local celebrity after the media have found that she went on strike looking for more appreciation. Full story...

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